I secretly hate her.

The chick who kept leaving me in her wake last night.  The chick who probably grew up around the ocean. The one who dedicated herself to competitive training.  Who is fit and lean and looks like she’s got her health and fitness all together. The one who has youth on her side.  The chick with the great delts, back and arms. The one who is disciplined and consistently works towards her personal passion.  Who puts herself out there and goes for it. The chick who can be proud of her physical achievements.

The chick who puts a mirror right up in my face so I can reflect on my ego.

Truth is, I don’t really hate her as much as admire her.

I admire her for her speed

Her confidence

Her dedication

Her discipline

Her strength

Her tenacity

Her physical presence and

Her passion.

I admire her for refusing to accept “NO” as an answer and for making “IT” happen.

I admire “her” because I admire and value those qualities.

What I really secretly hate, are the criticisms that bubble and ooze out of my brain.  The creepy crawly thoughts of self doubt, the deprecating self talk and the unfair irrational comparisons that I draw between myself and “The Chick”.

The mean thoughts that say…

I’m not good enough.
I’ve wasted my life.
I’m too old to make a difference.

The ugly voice of fear and self doubt repeating it’s mantra…

Your body can’t do what you want.
You’re not tough enough.
It’s too late for you.
You’re too slow, too weak, too limited
You’ll make a fool of yourself.


Truth is,

I’m not kidding anyone, because I’m not hiding anything.
I’m putting myself out there and lifting my game.

Truth is,

I’ve had a great life and I’ve been making a difference in other people’s lives for a long time.

Truth is,

I am older than I used to be, but my body is strong and mobile and is capable of many things.   Plus, I have the knowledge to approach training and recovery much more wisely than my younger self.

Truth is,

I’ve pushed my limits and achieved acts of strength and bravery that even I’m stunned to think about.

I eat tough for breakfast!

Slow? Perhaps, but I get the job done.

Make a fool of myself?




Norman Doidge author of The Brain That Changes Itself and The Brain’s Way of Healing says that;

“When we think certain thoughts, certain networks in the brain are ‘turned on’, while others are switched off.”  “Once a relevant circuit is turned on by thought, it fires, and then the blood flows to that circuit.” 

The Brain’s Way of Healing.


rewire your thoughts and lift your mindset
Rewire and reframe negative thoughts

Stop “firing up” the fear and self doubt thought networks.  Deal with them and starve them.

A. Dig in, dissect them and do the work to sort out why they are there, where they come from and how they are false.

B. Then reframe and rewrite the thoughts to create a truer pathway that serves your purpose.

C. Moving forward, every time the old thought creeps in, consciously stop the old thought circuit and switch to the new one. Repeat it.

This will build and strengthen the new affirming circuit and starve the self doubt circuit so that it will dwindle and wither away.


When you are triggered by the people around you, it is all about you, not them. Your thoughts and reactions to people and events around you are just a reflection of what is going on inside you and the personal issues that must be dealt with to grow and move forward.

In all honesty, “The chick” probably wasn’t really all that.

That’s just me filling in qualities that I admire and value.

Rewrite your thoughts to lift you mindset
Reflect triggers & reactions



Rewire your thoughts to lift your mindset

What is important to you? 

What qualities do you admire and want to live by? 

What completes your life?  

How can you live more authentically by your values?


Get over yourself. Stop listening to that voice that tells you that you have to be a certain way.  Step out of your box.  Do something that scares you and shakes the very foundations of your self identity.

For example, I’m doing MY FIRST multi-sport endurance event very soon.  A half ironman distance Aquabike; covering a 2km swim and an 80km bike.

You?  Do what speaks to you and challenges your accepted notions of yourself;

Wear red, hire a trainer or a coach, join a gym, go skinny dipping, take dancing lessons, learn how to speak in public, become a certified scuba diver, eat vegan, travel, talk to someone not from your demographic, go to a country where you have to drive on the other side of the road, get a snake, whatever!

What are you going to do?

Leave a comment below & let me know,.


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    6 replies to "Rewire Your Brain and Lift Your Mindset"

    • DaYanna

      I really enjoyed this topic. At times as people we tend to compare ourselves to other people and forget about our value! I feel like when trying something new you have to motivate yourself and stop looking for others to do it for you! One of the things I have to tell myself Is that I have to work with what I got to get what I want! WORK hard you will get the results you want, things do not happen over night. And at times we have to remind ourselves that! Thank you for this article. It was an eye opener! 

      • Tammy Martin

        So true DaYanna.  Work with what you got and also appreciate and be grateful for your gifts. Thank you for your comments! 

    • eohia

      Thank you for this article. It spoke to me directly. Many times i have all this great plans in my head that I end up not executing due to the fear of taking that step or dwelling more on what people will think.

      It’s like people already have this set notion of me, so that sometimes when I share my plans with them, all I hear is that “you can’t do it, you don’t have it in you….” .  I’ve made a resolution to step out of the box, speak to myself and do me…

      • Tammy Martin

        Hi eohia, Does your circle say that or are you afraid that they will say that?  Either way, don’t let it stop you.  If you are worried that they will say that, it could be your own fear of stepping up coming out.  If they are saying it, it could be their fear of losing you.  Because if you step up your game, they may have to too or you’ll move on to bigger horizons without them. 

        Thank you for sharing.  Here’s to stepping out of the box in a GRAND WAY!


    • DerrAd

      I stopped being the collection of mirrors that reflect what others expect me to be when I realized that my success has to start with me and not them. And your article has conveyed the exact message to me. Many people are living a lifestyle to please people around them but it just a matter of time for most to realize that they’ve not actually started living their real lives. 

      Thanks for your motivating words. I’ve come to learn that I’m what I think you think about me and not what you think about me. This is giving me a new focus in how I do things.  

      • Tammy Martin

        Absolutely DerrAd. You make your success, not anyone else.  Don’t prevent yourself from achieving your best because of fear of what others may think of do.  It is not up to them. 

        Your last sentence reminds me of something I heard Simon Sinek say.  We aren’t what we think we are. We aren’t what our friends think we are.  We are who we “think” our friends think we are.

        Thank you for sharing!


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